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10

Diary of a club promoter

It seems that the word is quickly spreading about this monthly column and since starting I have received nu- merous emails asking me how they get involved in the industry! Firstly club promoting is a very simple job, it does not require CV’s or a masters degree, the people who do well in the industry are the ones who have large networks or a number of friends and are generally the life and soul of a party! Anybody can become a club promoter but it is es- sential that you possess the 3 most common character- istics;

Being Proactive; This is the difference between the people that make it big and the people that fail, in pro- moting.

Be Outgoing;

You don’t have to be born popular to begin with, how- ever, in order for you to be well-known, you’re going

to have to be outgoing and meet as many people as you can.

Be VERY interested in making BIG money and partying;

Ok, back to business, for those of you who are watch- ing Sky 1’s cult TV show “Pineapple Dance Studio” I had the pleasure of meeting Starman front man Andrew Stone who was “surpris- ingly” for some, a genuinely nice bloke! (Pictured), he tells me he has just signed a £6 million recording con- tract so watch this space... I went to visit the new Chi- nawhite on Winsley Street for the first time as well which I have to say looked bloody amazing, definitely a club to watch out for and you can find us there every Friday this month (strict dress code applies). For more information on anything discussed please contact:

www.velvet-pr.com

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THE GUESTLIST NETWORK | MAY 2010

witter watter

Who’s been saying what online this month? Celia names, shames and fames DJ’s mouth- ing off in cyberspace. You are what you tweet.

5 March Calvin Harris, 11.45am: ‘Trying to persuade Dizzee Rascal to do a sat nav voice.’

‘Drive Wiv Me’, the smash follow-up to ‘Dance Wiv Me’?!

9 April Calvin Harris, 2.20am: ‘Any coun-

cil’s ever consider rolling out a ‘milk-on-tap’ service, an extra tap above your sink giving you fresh, cold semi-skimmed milk?’

2.22am: ‘I’d probably pay an extra £20 pcm on top of water charges for this service. It could be piped directly from the farm. Cut out the middle man.’

2.23am: ‘P.s. It doesn’t have to be semi- skimmed, there would be an options box to tick when you sign up for the service.’

2.27am: ‘Can’t believe these fucking amaz- ing ideas actually LOSE me followers. Well fuck the lot of you, I’ll talk to myself if I have to.’

2.28am: ‘Actually I do that anyway…’

First he Created Disco, now he’s come up with this. Next stop, Dragon’s Den…

18 April Eric Prydz, 6.06am: ‘No shops

are open in Zurich and the streets are full of

Celia Garforth

camels!! What the hell is going on??’

Too many shrooms perhaps?

19 April Andy George, 6.48am: ‘No mini scotch eggs, M&S are you taking the piss out of me???’

A travesty indeed.

Sinden, 8.32am: ‘Having so much fun in the studio my tea’s gone cold.’

If only all jobs were this good!

Fake Blood, 11.18am: ‘Q: What’s the dif- ference between the Icelandic volcano and Cheryl Cole? A: The volcano is still blowing ash.’

The childish ones are always the best.

Jaymo, 11.26am: ‘No Doorly! Don’t come near me when you’ve got no pants on!’ Draw your own conclusions here.

DJ Zinc, 4.29pm: ‘Big up Terry Wogan.’

Big two fingers up at Terry Wogan.

Eric Prydz, 12.16pm: ‘Wow this guy next to me on the train smells like road kill!! I’m actually feeling sick.’

Think that’s bad? Try the central line during rush-hour.

23 April A-Trak, 11.26pm: ‘You’re all lovely people and most of you don’t smell too bad. Any Origami enthusiasts out there?’

Insert your own commentary here.

30 April Deadmau5, 7.36am: ‘Morning London, sun is shining, birds are singin... WHERE’S MY F’N BREAKFAST.... BITCH!’

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