According to a 2008 report by the far earlier than many assume. Another tip: Check your own stress lev-
Centers for Disease Control, chronic or “It starts to kick in around their el. “Kids take their emotional cues from
severe childhood stress can disrupt the first or second birthday,” says psycholo- the adults around them,” advises Fay. “A
development of fragile brain circuitry, gist Charles Fay, Ph.D., president of the lot of high-achieving, perfectionist kids
resulting in a “low threshold for stress,” Golden, Colorado-based parenting or- think mistakes are the end of the world,
throughout life. Excess stress hormones, ganization, the Love and Logic Institute. because they see their parents reacting
like cortisol, can also damage the brain Fay says toddlerhood (12 to 30 that way.”
region responsible for learning and months) is particularly stressful, as kids He counsels parents to model posi-
memory and impair the immune sys- go through potty training and learning tive reactions to stress. Take a moment
tem, leaving kids vulnerable to asthma, to walk. For older preschoolers, chang- to tell the kids a funny story about how
allergies and other illness. ing schools, older siblings moving away you spilled coffee in your lap and had
The good news: Parents who take or parents divorcing can all be stressful. to run home to change—and the lesson
care to shield their children from excess While some stress can be benefi- learned. Instead of freaking out as you
stress and help them deal with inevi- cial, adults need to be vigilant about rush around the house looking for the
table stressors in a healthy way, can set looking for signs that a child is experi- car keys, say, “Oh well. It’s not the end
them up for better long-term mental encing too much stress, particularly if of the world if I am a few minutes late.”
and physical health. the child is too young to verbalize his Experts say overscheduling is
“In a very real way, Mother Nature or her feelings. Common signs include another chronic source of stress, with
expects parents to be good parents,” regression, temper tantrums, withdraw- many parents shuttling junior from story
says psychology professor Chris Coe, al and tummy, head or muscle aches. time to baby yoga to playdates. Ac-
Ph.D., an immunology researcher at cording to a 2001 study by University
University of Wisconsin-Madison. “It
Hyperactivity can
of Michigan researchers, children ages
helps to guide a child’s biology in the
signal stress
3 to 5 have eight fewer hours per week
right direction.” of free play time than they did in 1981.
“We see a lot of kids and families who
Kids ages 6 to 8 enjoy 13 fewer hours
are in a perpetual state of fight or flight
what parents can do
of free time.
and sadly, the kids get wrongly diag-
The first key step, experts say, is for
An easy solution: “Remind yourself
nosed with learning and behavior disor-
parents to learn to recognize when their
that it is okay for kids to be bored,” says
ders, such as ADHD (Attention Deficit
kids are stressed out, and it can happen
Fay, noting that boredom fosters creativ-
Hyperactivity Disorder),” says Fay.
ity and prepares kids for a “real life”
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